J

JIMMY

Someone once wrote of Johnny Cash, "He's a walking contradiction." Sometimes I think that's true of my friend Jimmy. I don't know of anyone else that is always so ready for a confrontation, and is able to diffuse said confrontation so easily. If someone's being an ass, I can count on Jimmy not to put up with it. He may rant a bit about what he'd like to say or do to the individual, and I cringe for how things may go, but then he confronts the guy and offers him a fruit snack.

Here is an account of a recent situation. Names have been changed to protect the guy that's not Jimmy.

SERGEANT MAJOR EDWARD De OTT
Hey! If you guys have a problem then you can talk straight to me!!!

JIMMY
Excuse me?

MAJOR EDWARD De OTT
I said if you have a problem you can talk to me!!!

JIMMY
Well I would if I knew where to find you.

MAJOR ED De OTT
YARGLE YARGLE YARGLE!!!

JIMMY
Don't talk to me like that.

ED De OTT
YARGLE YARGLE YARGLE!!! EMPTY THREAT!!! YARGLE!!!

JIMMY
Go ahead. It makes no difference to me.

E. De OTT
YARR!!! GRRR!!! WAAAHHRR!!!

JIMMY
Alright. Have a nice day, dude.

later...

JIMMY holds a box of chidren's fruit snacks. He spots Major E. De Ott and approaches him.

JIMMY
Hi! Would you like to have a fruit snack?

E. De OTT
Er... Uh... Sure. Thanks.

JIMMY
You're welcome.

E. De OTT
Hey, uh, I... uh... just wanted to let you guys know... we really appreciate what you do.

JIMMY
Hey, thanks. You, too.

De OTT
Thank You.

JIMMY
Have a good day. God bless you.

De OTT
You, too.

MUNCHING ON FRUIT SNACKS, THEY BOTH WALK OFF

This is Jimmy's nature. I'm learning a lot from him. A soft answer turns away wrath, and doesn't take any crap from anybody. A walking contradiction.