Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Sunlight


Well, to be honest, I’ve never seen my parents.  It’s not that they left me, it’s just that I was born blind!  I’m sorry!  I’m kidding.  I mean, yes, I was born blind.   But in fact, I love my parents very much.  They live on the west side.  I try to visit them at least a few days a week.  Let them know I’m okay and so forth.  I’ve lived with them on and off, but I don’t like feeling like i’m a burden on anybody, so I try not to disrupt their lives too much.

Anyway, I love them and I’m glad that they never treated me like a curse.  Some folks tend to think that if you have a kid with something wrong with him, like being blind for instance, that there must be something wrong with you.  Pardon the expression but that’s bull crap if you ask me.   Well, unless it’s because my parents were less than married when they had me, but I don’t think so.  Well, actually, they were married when they had me, if you want to know the truth.  Just not so much when they... um... made me.  Ha!  Either way, I don’t think they were being punished.  They always loved me as if I was a blessing and I’m grateful for that.

As far as begging, I honestly don’t know how long I’ve been begging.  I’m not trying to make you feel bad or anything, I just can’t remember.  It doesn’t bother me that you asked.  It is what it is, you know?  I hear a lot of people going by, and a lot of them are in this big rush and going places and so forth.  I don’t need to worry about that.  Where have I got to go?  The only time I have to go anywhere is when I have to GO, y’know?  Ha!  I’m just kidding.  No, but, I do have to go sometimes, right, and I’ve got a spot so don’t worry about it!

My parents didn’t make me go beg.  I just knew I needed to.  And like I said, it’s not that bad.  And blind people tend to make more than your cripples and such.  I know, right!  I think it’s because people just feel worse for a blind person.  Ask somebody what they’d do if they lost a leg or an arm, and they’ll say they could get by.  But ask them what they’d do if they went blind.  That’s when they start sighing a little more and saying things like, “Boy, you know, I just don’t know.  That would be awful,” and so forth.

Well it’s really not awful.  I was born this way.  I don’t miss seeing.  I mean, do you miss being able to, I don’t know, touch sound?  Ha.  I know, it’s weird.  But really, that’s what it’s like.  Actually, I notice a lot of things other people seem to miss out on.

Like what?  Wow, um, let me see...  Birds, of course.  There’s a lot of different birds around here.  But, actually, my favourites are the pigeons.  I know!  I know nobody likes them, but I think they’re great.  I love to listen to them coo.  That’s the most incredible sound.  I’ve probably been pooped on more than a few times on the corner here, but I still like them!

I love the sound of certain bugs, too.  There are these things, I don’t know what they’re called, but they make the most amazing humming sound in the summer.  I love it.  You get that going along with the pigeons cooing, it’s just amazing.

Oh, and the sun.  I love the sun.  I think if there’s one thing that would make me wish I could see, it would be the sun.  I think if I could see, I’d probably go blind from staring at it!  Ha!  Isn’t that supposed to be bad?  Staring at the sun?  I don’t know.  But I love the fact that I can feel it, even though it’s not, like, a thing,  you know?  Like the wind, but more mysterious.  You can’t touch it, but you can feel it.  That’s so crazy!  Sometimes when I’m sitting here holding out my hands, honestly, I don’t even care if anyone drops any money in them.  I’m just holding the sun there.  A nice cup of sun!  Ha!

So, yeah, I guess it would be nice to see, if you want to know the truth.  I’d like to know what light is.

Maybe someday.  On the other side of the door, you know?  Yeah.  That’d be nice.

6 comments:

Mister A Muses said...

Eh Bart? How long before we get the other side of the door eh?

Your Friend Aaron said...

Not long now, Mister A.

Chris said...

Turtle?

Your Friend Aaron said...

Ha! No, but I should keep that one in mind and so forth.

Fellow Traveler said...

This is a good example of what I meant when I was talking about colloquial language. You have some creative ideas here about what it might be like to be blind, but the monologue as a whole just falls a little flat because the language feels cheap. "I know, it's weird." "Wow, um, let me see..." Again, you need to just HEAR what that sounds like. Read it aloud to yourself.

Your Friend Aaron said...

This was really just a free-writing exercise in using a Catcher In The Rye/Holden Caulfield tone with a somewhat peripheral biblical character. I was also thinking of a specific person I've become friends with who has not faced blindness, but addiction and homelessness, and remained irrepressibly positive in his tone. A fun exercise.